This House No Longer Feels Like Home
by Amanda Marceshia
Summary: What happened when Will went to get his stuff from Sonny's apartment. Angst.


Will was left at the table after Marlena had gone. He had to take everything in quickly as everything was moving very fast. He couldn't stop any of it, he never could. Tears were filling in my eyes as he brought his hands up to his face; he wanted to be strong for himself and everyone around him, but he couldn't. Not anymore.

"Okay," Will muttered under his breath as he wiped tears away, "okay." With every ounce of his being, Will somehow found the effort to stand up, his feet slowly carried him over behind the counter, where Sonny was. Just the thought of losing Sonny, or already have lost him only made Will tear up more. Will just wanted to explain his side of the story, but would Sonny even give him that?

Sonny straightened up as he heard Will clear his throat. He turned his body toward Will, only not wanting to make eye contact. He finally rested an elbow on the counter and listened, though not really hearing anything.

"I'm going to, uh," Will began, "go by your place later tonight and, uh, get my stuff." He didn't want to say the words aloud but he never though that he would be moving out of Sonny apartment. "I figure you don't want me there tonight." Will waited for Sonny to say something, but he didn't. He just kept starting at a spot next to Will. And on that note, Will decided to make his leave. "One more thing though," Will came to make Sonny hear him out, "if you just look at me for a second." Sonny briefly made eye contact then pulled away. Will would be okay with that, he knew that he had hurt Sonny and he didn't want Sonny to do any more than listen at that point. Sonny's eyes then landed on him as if he wanted to hear what Will had to say, but the pain of the lie was too much. "I don't know how this is gonna play out," Will shook his head lightly, "but I don't wanna lose you over this. You don't have to say anything. I just want you to know, despite everything's that's happened, I love you." And that was it, everything was laid on the table, nothing but the truth from Will.

Sonny glanced down and kept silent, not sure of what to say. Sonny couldn't gather his through quick enough as Will advanced toward the door. He was still hurt because of the lie but he still felt. Sonny felt love and pain, both mixing together causing tears to weld up in his eyes. He tried his hardest to blink away some but most wouldn't give in. Sonny tried his hardest to fight every emotion his felt but it wasn't hard enough. He knew Will had just told him the truth, he felt it deep within in. He heard to door open and then close, Will was gone. But Sonny still had to say something. He had to be truthful, "I love you, too, Will.

* * *

_You can't hear me cry_

_See my dreams all die_

Will came to a halt outside Sonny apartment. He hadn't thought of anything to say or do, just get his things. How could things have gone from being absolutely perfect that morning then turn horribly wrong? Courage was not showing through in him, hell, it hasn't been all day. Will kept trying to wrap his heard around the thought that all of Salem knows who the real father of Gabi's baby is, everyone knows that Will has sex with Gabi because he didn't want to be gay anymore. And Will knew that he and Sonny weren't together anymore. And that hurt him the most.

Sonny didn't react when there were double wraps coming from outside his door. He knew it was time, time that Will take every reminder Sonny had of him. He needed time and space right now. To Sonny, it felt like ages before he make his way to the door. His hand rested on the knob before opening it and revealing a sad Will. He was a mess, hair unkempt, red rims around his eyes, clothes all tattered. But if anyone was being honest, Sonny was in the exact same state.

"I'm here for my stuff." Will whispered, not meeting eyes with Sonny. Will knew that nothing would ever be the same again between him and Sonny. Seconds passed by as they both stood there in silence. Will didn't have many things to retrieve but he wanted this moment to be over. He wanted to forget it all, go back to when he and Sonny we happy. Now he couldn't believe that that was only hours ago. Will held his head low, "I, um," he began, not knowing what to say or where this would go. "I'm gonna get my stuff and go," Will let out a sigh. Tears made their way to his eyes; through all of the lies and the pain he caused Sonny, Will still, after everything, loved him. And he couldn't imagine that this would ever get this bad, but it had, and Will had to face it. Alone.

_From where you're standing_

_On your own_

Sonny motioned for Will to come in, saying nothing hurt him a bit. He wanted to say something, anything, but nothing would come out. His heart ached as he felt Will push passed him into the room. Sonny remained standing by the door for a while to wrap his mind around the fact that just that morning Will had moved in. Now he was leaving. Sonny would miss him, although Will hurt him and lied, he still loved him.

"I know you don't really wanna talk right now, but just listen, okay? That's all I ask." Will stood in the middle of the room, eyes now fixed on Sonny. "I know what I did wasn't right, and I regret that now. Not telling you has hurt me, too. I know it's not the same hurt but I still feel what I did to you. How bad it was that I lied to you, about something that big. I wanted to everyday, but just the thought of me telling you, and thinking I would lose you. I'm not saying what I did was right, because it isn't, but it was only out of fear. Fear that once I told you, you wouldn't be in life anymore." Will gaze didn't leave Sonny once. He hadn't imagined coming here and saying that, but he did, and there was no way of taking all that back.

Sonny pressed back onto the door, hearing what Will had to say. He wanted Will to go, but he wanted him to say. He needed time to think about everything. Everything that mad his life the way it was now; the happiness and the pain. Sonny head snapped up as he hear sniffling coming from Will. Chocolate brown met ice blue; both were red rimmed. Will noticed that Sonny was in the same state that he was in through all of this.

"Just go," Sonny quivered out, slipping a hand up to his face to wipe away tears. Will had no other choice but to do what he came he to do. He whipped around and headed for the closet. He has stashed the bad that his brought his things over in at Sonny's. He hadn't though that he would need to use it again anytime soon. With what happened that morning, he couldn't wait to get out.

_It's so quiet here_

Will found his bag in the far left corner of the closet, all crumpled into a ball. Flattening it out, he took notice of Sonny's blue shirt that he had worn today at the wedding. His mind raced over the images of when everything went wrong that day. Will was hurting, Sonny was hurting; but Will needed something that reminded him of the man he loved. He yanked the blue fabric into his bag not thinking if Sonny saw him or not. He eventually stood to gather more of his belongings: his favorite sweatpants that he liked to sleep in, his underwear and socks, his shirts, his toothbrush, and other items he brought over here hours ago.

Sonny reclined on the bed, draped an arm over his eyes, although he was fully awake. Sounds of clutter came from about the apartment. The air washed over him as Will moved around carelessly. He couldn't take this anymore; he wanted to let go but at the same time he wanted Will to stay. Sonny just needed to take control of his emotions, but he couldn't. The very thought of Will leaving began to hurt him more than the lie itself. He sat upward in a panic as Will treaded out of the backroom, bag in hand.

_And I feel so cold_

Will exhaled inaudibly, not moving. "I'll be going now if you have nothing further to say to me." His voice shook a little at he talked to Sonny, knowing there wouldn't be a reply. "Okay." He mouthed as he stared at Sonny's unmoving figure. He rounded around to make for the door, paused his his hand on the knob, "I guess I'll see you around," Will spoke without turning to face Sonny.

Sonny watched as Will walked out the door with everything he had here. "Don't go," he whispered a moment too late. Tears swelled in his eyes and pooled out onto his cheeks. Something gray caught his attention: one of Will's shirts, the gray one which he slept in on New Year's Day. He couldn't bear to face Will another time today; his fingers ran over the reminder of Will that had got left behind. Will's shirt was slowly brought to Sonny's chest as he curled into a ball and started to sob into his pillow.

Everything was back in place at Sami's place that Will had brought back over. It had gotten late that night; Will was done unpacking again when everyone else was asleep. He decided to slip on Sonny's blue shirt from today, it smelled like Sonny and coffee. It was enough to make Will's eyes misty again. It was enough hurt to make Will never try for love again, because he knew we wouldn't find it the way he had with Sonny. It was enough to not give up.

His head hit the pillow hard as his eyes closed tightly, holding in the tears as he breathed in the scent of Sonny.

Walking out of the bathroom from a hot shower, Sonny flopped down of the bed with Will's shirt on; he hadn't wanted to sleep any other way. Will wasn't there in person, but in memory he was there. Sonny needed to feel Will somehow, and the shirt was enough. It was enough to get him through the night alone. It was enough pain and happiness rushing over him to make him smile through the tears. It was enough to not give up.

"I love you, too, Will!" Sonny screamed out into his pillow before crying himself to sleep.

_This house no longer feels like home_


End file.
